Our emotional garden
Relationships are like your own personal garden. What grows in yours?
I remember going on a first friend date, having that tingling feeling about meeting a potential new friend. We met at my favourite café, I sat in the sun with a coffee in my hand waiting for her to show up. Instantly when she arrived, wearing a long kimono in light blue colors with yellow sun prints, I felt a wave of joy fill my body. We shared a hug when introducing ourselves, and if you’re a hugger like me, you know what it feels like when someone matches your energy. We sat down and talked while sipping on our cappuccinos in the autumn sun. I distinctively remember how I 30 min in had this urge of expressing this feeling I had, so I went for it and I said ”I feel so much love here in our presence”, and she replied ”me too”. We laughed and hugged like we’ve been friends forever. In that moment I told her about my view on friendship and relationships, how they feel like a garden. Here’s what this means to me:
There’s something magical about a garden. The way the soil holds memory and nourishment, how sunlight gives warmth, and each plant grows in its own time, in its own way. Some connections are wild and blooming, others are slow to grow. But all of them, the friends, the lovers, the family we choose and the wildflowers who find us, they are seeds we plant, tend to, and harvest in different seasons of our lives.
Some people are like berries, they’re sweet, vibrant, joyful. You don’t need much from them to feel nourished. Moments with them feels like sunshine on your face, laughter at unexpected moments, a spontaneous road trip just because. They have a way to make you feel lighter and a little sweeter inside.
Others are more like root vegetables, grounding, deep, and sometimes hidden beneath the surface. These are the friendships that may not demand attention every day, but when you dig deep, they’re rich with history, support, and love. They keep you steady when your world feel it’s crumbling.
Then there are the spicy chilli’s, they’re bold, intense, and unforgettable. They challenge you and make you feel alive. You don’t always need them every day, but when they’re there, you know it. These relationships ignite something in you, and even if they don’t last forever, they leave a mark.
Some people are like herbs, subtle, always there in the background, adding quiet depth to your life’s buffet. They’re the ones you call when you don’t know what you need, and somehow, just being with them helps. They’re the late night texts, the “thinking of you” notes, the ones who can bring calm to your chaos.
And then there are the ones who feel like trees. I love trees. Trees take time to grow, but when they do, they offer shade, strength, and a place to rest. These are often lifelong friendships or relationships built over years of trust, vulnerability, and shared seasons. You don’t rush a tree, you grow with it.
The truth is, not every plant blooms at the same time. Some friendships grow quickly, and then wilt. Others take root slowly, but last for decades. Some people are perennials, always returning, season after season, and some are annuals, beautiful but brief, and all of it is okay. A garden doesn’t need just one kind of plant to thrive. It needs diversity of texture, color, scent, and rhythm. So does your life! And we all have times when weeds take over, toxic relationships, jobs, and friendship, that drain more than they give. It’s okay to pull them out. It’s not failure, it’s self care. Both for your garden, and yourself. We need space to grow and not everything is meant to stay. And maybe most importantly, YOU are a plant in someone else’s garden too. What you give, how you show up, how you tend to others, matters. You’re part of their growth, just as they are part of yours.
So tend to your relationships like you would a garden. With patience, with care, and with time. Be grateful for the wildflowers, and be intentional about watering the ones that matter the most. We are all growing differently, beautifully, imperfectly. And YOUR garden is better because of it. So be mindful about which seeds you long for and remember that composting is nourishment.
Love Rebecca